Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Plugged back in for now

Dr. K called half an hour ago, and we had a good chat. She understood how I got the impression this morning that this thing was a wash. (How about, because the NP said as much when I asked her to comment?) Even if she didn't understand, she said she did, and that helped.

First of all, she still feels that the cyst is a non-concern. They will aspirate it at retrieval but wouldn't want to go in before then. I asked about its possible effects on egg quality and whether it would inhibit further follicle growth. She said there is no definitive evidence that quality is adversely affected or that follicle counts would be better without the cyst. But that, yes, if it doesn't work out, you can wonder. (See, I'm still not getting why the "nothing definitive" thing doesn't make you wonder right up front.)

Turns out I still have 8 follicles. I did not lose 4 from last week. (The NP could have easily corrected this impression during any number of the times that I voiced it.) But 4 have definitely grown ahead of the others and are measuring at 10–11 mm. In fact, contrary to my impression that only 1 of the 4 looked worth anything — an impression which to my mind was confirmed when I said, "So just 1 out of the 4 even looks viable—that sounds bad" and then the NP said, "Yes, the others just aren't where we'd like to see them" — the REs say all 4 of the bigger ones look healthy and right on track.

Was the NP talking about them not looking good if we were pretending this was retrieval day and not Day 5? I don't know. But she went all the way along with my comments about canceling. She encouraged them, spoke comforting words about a future cycle on a different protocol, offered to cancel appointments so I didn't have to, and agreed with my assessment that today's planned acupuncture treatment would be a waste of my energy.

!@^%&^%&$$!!!! Pardon my digression into testiness, please.

Dr. K confirmed that whether the other 4 will grow can go either way — and that it is too soon to tell. She also said that 4 nice healthy ones is about the best she thinks I can hope for. Not that it's not possible that I could get more during a different cycle. But there's no way to know, and why take that chance when we are here now with stims doing their thing and me with 4 tangible egg vessels.

So I will continue the meds (just finished shooting up, actually), get monitored Thursday and Friday both, and we will decide what to do then. She said, "Now is still the time to be hopeful. We can deal with deciding to cancel if we need to." I appreciate that. It happens to be the way I felt before today. I'm not sure yet whether I'll be able to get that feeling back. But I do want to ride things out to the end of the week.

DH's take on the notion of going ahead even if 4 follicles is the best we can do: "It's not like they're going to find pudding in there. Or rocks."

So one hopes, my sweet.


Ms Heathen said...

I was so sorry to read these last few posts. I'm still reeling from my own recent cancelled cycle, so can understand something of what you're going through.

I will hope that the four decent sized follicles keep on growing, and that things are looking more positive by the end of the week. In the meantime, try to hang on in there - easier said than done, I know.

I did tag you over on my own blog, but think that you have more important stuff going on at the moment!

Sending you all good wishes.

I_Sell_Books said...

Oh, thank goodness for Dr K. Wth is up with the NP?? She is like MsInformation Station, there. And that is one junction you don't need to stop at.

Hmm, pudding...

Opus #6 said...

It is puzzling when medical staff disagree with each other. The doctor's opinion *should* trump the NP's. However, you saw the u/s for yourself. How close were the other 3 follies in size? Did the gal even measure them? If they are anywhere close, you are still in the game, because they can let the lead follie get a little on the big side and the smaller ones can be just over the threshold for retrieval and all should work out fine.

Did you go to the acupuncture appt? Anything that can calm you down and lower your circulating levels of stress hormones/cortisol will help the process, I believe.

I hear what your dh is saying about the 4 follies. Better to give it all you've got while you are at it. I am praying hard for your cycle.

Polly Gamwich said...

You could try soaking your feet between now and then ... that might deliver blood to your uterus and ovaries in order for the trailing follies to catch up ... no harm at this point, right?

So sorry to hear about the stupid NP.