Sunday, March 16, 2014

Things to count on: death, taxes, and solid plans that change

To make a long story short, my surgery date has moved up from April 1 to March 25. My pre-op appointment is happening first thing this Tuesday.

This stuff is getting real.

Thursday, March 6, 2014

It's sinking in

My surgery date has been confirmed for April Fools' Day, and that means March 2014 is the last month I will ever spend, ever, in the constant company of my own uterus.


Just yesterday I had a proper meltdown about all of it — and I do mean ALLLLLLLLLL of it.

Of course on the one hand, I want the organ gone. But its shenanigans have been integral to my very identity for such a long time. A lifetime, really. So it will be interesting to learn what all comes up (and out?) along with it.

Monday, February 24, 2014

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Checking in with uterine news

Where else can you write something like that post title and get away with it?

Lots of places, actually. But I wouldn't think of doing it anywhere but here.

The news: It looks like my body has decided to help move along my quest for attaining my purest possible state of IF Experience Closure. (Let's see, do I want to shorten that to IFEC, pronounced EYE-feck . . .  or maybe IEC, which sounds a lot like "eek"? No time to dither about that right now, so I'll leave that for another day.)

The news, clarified: I'm having a hysterectomy. Soon.

Funny thing is, as I left the doctor's office with that plan of attack literally in hand, I felt considerably lighter than when I'd arrived. I even smiled one of those wholly spontaneous and unmanufactured smiles that only deep-down truth can instigate.

No, on this step, I'm not devoid of emotion from the opposite end of the spectrum. In fact, I've already felt all the emotions about the whole thing, and no doubt I'll continue to as I try to digest whatever the coming weeks of pre-op prep and post-op recovery will force me to eat.

Naturally, I'm going to have to blog my way through it all.

P.S. I know I said I was going to "debrief" and such QUITE some time ago. I've been doing that, and doing fine. But it's mostly been going on in my head or in handwritten notebook pages that nobody really ever needs to see. I've been in a good place, and I think a healthy one. I cannot, though, pass up the opportunity to bookend the whole experience I blogged about so faithfully with new blogs about this chapter. Said chapter has already started cracking open some much-welcomed doors to the rest of my big-picture happy life, and there's no way I can't share this part of my process — wherever it might lead me — in this space.