Saturday, February 23, 2008

Is this weird?

Don't answer that. But here's something I did on Wednesday: I used a FRER. For those of you unfamiliar with the lingo, that is a home pregnancy test (HPT).

No, no, no, I wasn't using it for its normal purpose. I just wanted to confirm that I had HCG in my system. It hit me that I didn't yet know whether they'd tested for HCG on Sunday. And that taking a test might be the only way I'd know for sure that the hormone had successfully made the rounds in my body. (Turns out I haven't been glued to others' tales of testing out the trigger for bupkes.) So as soon as the idea popped into my head, I got to work on hitting that wick. I thought I might be too late to see anything because by then I was 5 days past the trigger. Never mind that I was using something like 5th MU. But that second pink line popped up right away. Mission accomplished!

One perk of that little exercise was the depletion of my HPT stock. I've never been a BIG tester — quick pause to say, "BIG testers, you know who you are" — but I do like to have something in the cupboard for those rare occasions that I make it to 13 dpo. I like to celebrate such uncommonly normal-ish LPs by wasting a perfectly good test or two. Right now, though, I just don't need to have them things around.

Another bonus was to see the pretty pink develop. I've only ever seen that happen one other time. (I'll have to write about that sometime.) For whatever reason on Wednesday, it had a calming effect. For a moment I felt that maybe my body would produce that line-making chemical on its own sometime soon, while it still remembers what it's like to have it swirling about in detectable levels.

Today, I tossed the test in the trash. It served its purpose, and my mind's eye can still see the pink.

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