Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Is it already over?

This is essentially the same text as a post I just did on my regular discussion forum:

I know I shouldn't be testing so much. I. Know. It. But I wanted comparisons for all 3 brands from yesterday. Then I was going to just maybe do one a day till Friday.

My Answer test from earlier this afternoon is ever so slightly lighter than yesterday's (the one I pictured). It's really almost identical, just a tiny hair lighter. I thought this was no big deal due to differences in dilution. In person it is very pink and very there.

BUT, something possessed me 2 hours later to do another FRER. It is a total BFN. No color, no line, no nothing. This morning's FRER was measurably darker than yesterday's. But this is as white as white can be.

Surely I should be able to see SOMETHING.

Is it now just over?

Why did I do this to myself?

Why can't anything be clear one day and clear again the next day?

7 comments:

Jaime Lynne said...

My heart is aching for you. Just aching. Nothing about this is fair!

Lisa said...

Lisa, you are in one of the toughest parts....testing hell. I am so sorry it can't just be clear for you.

How many days past trigger are you? I can't imagine that you had at least 2 tests earlier in the day were positive and then could go stark negative by afternoon, even if you weren't hanging on to the pregnancies...Oops, Freudian slip. Seriously. Anyhow, that test is really, really good for 10dpo (from yesterday)....isn't there any chance you got a freak bad test? I'm going to keep hoping for you.

Lisa said...

I just have to add-I just remembered that when I got pregnant with Ian, I had a freak FRER test too. I was fairly far into it, maybe 29 or 30 days past o. I had been getting really, really dark tests. So I decided to take my very last test I had (probably forever) to have one great, glaring line.....and it was considerably lighter than tests I had taken days and days earlier. I have pics of them on my computer if you need to see them. I was so freaked out I called my RE's office in tears and they did another beta for me. Obviously it all worked out, since my hubby is standing next to me holding a baby...I am going to believe that this is what is happening to you too! (My beta from that day was something like 30,000-no way it should've been lighter, but it was! I was SURE I was going to miscarry.)

Lisa said...

Thank you, Jaime Lynn.

Oh Lisa, I just don't know about the freak test. I hope so. It is unmistakably negative, unless it's just rubbish.

I took another one from the same box about an hour after the stark white. (Freak me? Oh yeah.) Research. It was also negative for the first few minutes but developed a super, super, super light pink line after 20 or so. I would call it BFN under any normal circumstances and not seriously think good things about it at all. But, heck, at least it came up with something to look at.

I agree that yesterday's tests were good, as were today's early ones. Until now I couldn't have imagined such a downward spiral in less than 10 hours. But 2 negatives this afternoon? How could they turn back to positive? I can't fathom it.

I'll just have to try again in the morning. (I shouldn't have been messing with the sticks this afternoon; it's not like I'm planning a p-stick scrapbook!) I'm out of the Answers that were giving me pretty lines, but I have 1 more EPT and several FRERs, including a totally different box to open. I need to try one of those, I think.

Thanks so much for your support. It really helps!

Lisa said...

Also, I'm 13 days past trigger. I tested for it 2 days after transfer (which was 7 days past trigger), and it was gone.

Ms Heathen said...

I'm thinking of you as you continue to wait - all these ambiguous HPTs must be so very difficult to deal with.

Holding out every hope that those lines just keep getting darker!

Joonie said...

Lisa, I'm sorry you're going through this. But it is still early. I'm holding out hope for you.