Today's beta was 91.8 at 15dpo/12dp3dt.
After IVF #2, my first number was 192 at 14dpo.
"And —?" you say.
Well, even though the only thing I should have wanted was a positive, normal-range number today, I secretly had my sights set on something higher than what I got.
I know that each pregnancy is different, that the doubling time we'll see on Monday is what matters, that at face value a lower normal number is not "worse," that I need to suck it up and feel the joy . . .
I UNDERSTAND ALL OF IT, promise. Just wanted to cop to where the infertile, post-miscarriage mind goes, even with good news that has not one shred of negative substance to it. It's a sickness.
In the 2 hours since taking the phone call, I've been actively working on getting my heart to come around. Sometimes all it needs is a little push. Right now, happily, it's sidling up to my head, giving it a squeeze, and saying "Sorry I'm late . . . I'm here now, though."
To summarize, the number is perfectly normal. Yay for that!!