Saturday, November 15, 2008

First beta in

Today's beta was 91.8 at 15dpo/12dp3dt.

After IVF #2, my first number was 192 at 14dpo.

"And —?" you say.

Well, even though the only thing I should have wanted was a positive, normal-range number today, I secretly had my sights set on something higher than what I got.

I know that each pregnancy is different, that the doubling time we'll see on Monday is what matters, that at face value a lower normal number is not "worse," that I need to suck it up and feel the joy . . .

I UNDERSTAND ALL OF IT, promise. Just wanted to cop to where the infertile, post-miscarriage mind goes, even with good news that has not one shred of negative substance to it. It's a sickness.

In the 2 hours since taking the phone call, I've been actively working on getting my heart to come around. Sometimes all it needs is a little push. Right now, happily, it's sidling up to my head, giving it a squeeze, and saying "Sorry I'm late . . . I'm here now, though."

To summarize, the number is perfectly normal. Yay for that!!

13 comments:

Arpee said...

wow...

43 yo and BFP! You are giving me hope!

Wish you well!!!

BB and MTB said...

Mine at 14dpo was 48 and 93 at 16dpo - so yours is already higher than mine. The first number is almost meaningless. Keep the faith, good luck, and CONGRATULATIONS!

Evil Stepmonster said...

Congratulations Lisa! That is such great news! Go Girl.

I know what you mean about having your sights set high. I guess we think/hope that an extremely high number will quash all our miscarriage fears.

SandyR said...

Yes that number is perfectly normal :) YAY congrats you are pregnant! :) Completely understand the hesitation, I was the same after my last miscarriage. May mondays numbers be totally convincing!

So happy for you.

Faith said...

Here from LFCA. Glad to hear your heart is coming around. Sometimes it just takes a little while.

JamieD said...

That number ~is~ perfectly normal! Yay!

Congrats!!

Tara said...

Keep the faith, sister! This is AWESOME news!!!!

Opus #6 said...

Repeat after me.

Today I am pregnant.

Today my baby is healthy.

Lisa said...

Congratulations, Lisa. I send doubling vibes for today, too. I am happy and hopeful for you.

Joonie said...

Congratulations! That is wonderful news! Keep up the positive thinking!

nancy said...

my beta on 11dp3dt? 15. So 91.8 is awesome!!!

Congrats!

Polly Gamwich said...

I know you ALREADY know that it's a good beta, I just wanted to share that during my 2nd m/c my beta was 87 on 10dpo ... and you mentioned that your m/c number was high ... then there are many women that have twins with high numbers or low numbers ... really the whole thing is nuts.

Sorry, ok, focus brain (and heart) on your healthy pregnancy! And a baby in 9 healthy months.

Did you get today's result yet?

((HUGS!!))

mylifechronicles said...

Congrats! That is an awesome beta. Crossing my fingers for a doubling! Can't wait for your post on Monday.
:)