Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Good days, bad moments, and scary-accurate horoscopes

My days go pretty well. I'm past feeling burdened by every thought, sight, body movement, and interpersonal interaction. I've moved into a phase of feeling mostly like myself while still experiencing moments of ouchiness each day. (Surprise!)

Do you check your horoscope? I do, maybe two or three times a week. Today was one of those weird times when the babble actually seemed to fit. I checked it — as a quick way to shake off a bad moment — just after seeing a client email with the subject "How does January 23 sound for you?"

January 23 was the baby's due date.

The client, of course, was proposing a work deadline. One that I'll have no trouble meeting. So, I countered that bad moment by clicking on some fluff.

My Leo reading said:

"Sometimes it's hard for you to keep up the dance of daily life while you are processing your feelings. Nevertheless, you can do it, even if you are hurting inside. Keep in mind that your emotions are raw and tender now; they wouldn't survive in their present form if they were on public display. Don't judge yourself negatively; you'll know when to share your heart."

I thought that was pretty applicable! I am keeping up that dance. From the outside, all looks normal with me. (I think. I hope!) And I feel fairly normal — for good, long stretches of every day — from the inside. But inside is definitely where I'm keeping what remains of those raw, tender emotions. I've reached a point at which I don't feel better letting them out. Talking about them doesn't help, but hanging on a bit and nursing them does.

All in all, I'd say time is doing its thing.


Mrs.X said...

Everyonce in a while, you come across something that you had no hand in creating and it speaks to you so directly and says exactly what you needed to hear at that very moment, that you are certain it was written for you. I love those moments. Glad you could have one.

Sweetpea said...

Yeah, sometimes in difficult moments it's almost like the universe is trying to tell you something. Or maybe it's your soul whispering to you, making sure that you have the strength to make it through, even if it doesn't feel like you have any strength left. Take your time. Healing is so important. I'm thinking of you.

Evil Stepmonster said...

Sometimes its a very complex dance and it seems incredibly hard to hold the thing together. I'm glad its starting to get easier for you.

Opus #6 said...

That *is* eerily close to describing what you are going through. Hmmmm.

Ms Heathen said...

I'm normally very sceptical about horoscopes, but have to admit that yours gave you some pretty good and timely advice.

Glad to hear that you're hanging on in there.

Joonie said...

I know what you mean about keeping up the dance. I'm glad time is doing its magic on you.