Haven't had much to say recently. Actually, that's not true — I've had too much to say, so I've kept a proper lid on it!
I'm hanging in, still waiting for the post D&C bleeding to completely stop. My HCG levels aren't falling at the rate the RE likes to see, so I'm getting an ultrasound early next week to see what's what.
I've really had it up to here (picture my hand gesturing far above my head) with walking through those clinic doors. But it looks like I have at least three more visits to go.
All things considered, I'm doing okay. I think. I can and do still burst into tears out of nowhere (and just about anywhere), but I have more and more moments of feeling fine in between the tears. I'm not typically much for the crying, but letting it happen as it wants to seems best. I've gotten pretty good at keeping it discreet!
I'm guessing that I'll start making quicker progress when the bloodletting stops and I don't have to see a (several-times') daily reminder of the lost dream.
I hope you find peace soon.
I so wish things were different for you. I, too, hope you find some semblance of 'okay-ness' soon.
I hope the feeling of an open wound starts to heal over soon. I know that pain will never be gone, but hopefully it will subside.
For me one of the hardest parts of getting through my miscarriages was the prolonged drop in HCG. It was a constant reminder that my body still thought it was pregnant and boy did that ever SUCK.
But, even though it seems like it will last forever, it will end. I'm sorry that you had to go through this after everything else. No one should have to, particularly you.
I'm so sorry, Lisa. I wish that you didn't have to go through all of this. My thoughts are with you.
Sorry that your body is being uncooperative. Thinking of you.
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