I swear I hear/read a new story every other week about women in their 40s (like me!), barren for years (like me!), who get pregnant with a perfect sticky bean that turns into a perfect healthy baby just MINUTES before starting their IVF cycles (like . . . uh . . . well, crap).
Obviously I'm doing a little venting here. But not about the successes themselves. Those make me happy, honest. I'm not even whining about the circumstances I've described. I know that surprise pregnancies absolutely happen all the time to people gearing up for IVF or DE-IVF. Of course they do. Hearing about those make my day.
My little semantics vent is this: Why is the kicker to this particular story almost ALWAYS that these people "weren't even trying — AT ALL"? That detail is sticking in my craw tonight.
I'll allow that couples can, and certainly do, occasionally enjoy each other's company without an explicit conception agenda. And that those struggling with IF may have every reason to assume nothing will happen and so will be surprised by ANY kind of BFP.
You cannot persuade me, though, that couples in their 40s who are seriously TTC and pursuing ART don't know when they've had unprotected sex near a fertile window and don't think about on some level that maybe, God willing, they will beat the odds and wind up pregnant by just doing what comes naturally.
So I contend that — for this type of couple — there is NO SUCH THING as a truly genuine incident of not trying* that leads to pregnancy.
That's my position, and I'm sticking to it.**
*I'm defining not trying as "no sex."
**That is, I'm sticking to it at least until I fall asleep in the next 2 minutes.
***Oh, and I take it all back and apologize to anyone I've rendered miffed. I suppose anything is freakin' possible! :)