Monday, September 28, 2009

I worry about people

I saw an ad for an upcoming Dr. Phil show mentioning a 48-year-old woman's desperate desire to rush into marriage because her "biological clock is ticking." I don't know the person's real details, and I don't expect to watch the show. Still, I felt compelled to touch on a couple of general topics the show teaser raised. Call it a public service announcement for I-don't-know-who-might-stumble-on-it.

What I'm about to say is coming from a place of understanding, compassion, and concern for my fellow woman.

About the marriage thing:

Marrying out of desperation of any kind will not give you what you are seeking. Applying severe pressure may actually work to get some men to the altar (lord knows it has before). But don't count on a happy ending with this prince. In fact, remind yourself, PLEASE, that he is not a prince. You can take care of yourself. And you can find the kind of love that requires no begging, brow-beating, or berating (of yourself OR the other party). It just might not show up on a schedule. That sucks, I know, but this is one thing you don't want to force.

About the biological clock thing:

I know what that ticking sounds like. But I hope to god you understand (and that the show clearly mentions) that — at 48 — chances are SO slim that you will achieve pregnancy naturally. I'm going to go ahead and assume that you intend to pursue either DE-IVF or adoption and wish you all the luck and speed (you will need both) in the world. Cash and strength and more luck might help too.

And now, back to my regularly scheduled work time.


loribeth said...


My dh works with a woman exactly his age (52) who is engaged. He overheard her mentioning something once about having kids, & thought, "Is she for real??" More recently, though, he said someone mentioned kids to her & she said, "I think that ship has sailed." I guess somewhere in between she got the message.

Lisa said...

Oh my, Loribeth!

Lost in Space said...

Sigh...sometimes you just have to wonder. I feel for her position and hope Dr. Phil is able to give her a (gentle) reality check.

Tara said...

AMEN! I understand that I wasn't nearly as versed in reproductive technology as I am now, and I am still no expert...but people are idiots and continually amaze me.