DING-DONG! Next-Day-Air Drug Supplier Calling!
Pup thinks return address looks legit. Box stinks like the last one. Recommends opening parcel at once, as Big Red Sticker instructs.
Additional BRS advice inside.
Message to DH: "Honey, if Joe stops by while I'm out, please shut the guest room door. I left a big mess on the bed."
"And if you offer him a beverage, DON'T let him help himself."