Thursday, March 6, 2014

It's sinking in

My surgery date has been confirmed for April Fools' Day, and that means March 2014 is the last month I will ever spend, ever, in the constant company of my own uterus.

Weird.

Just yesterday I had a proper meltdown about all of it — and I do mean ALLLLLLLLLL of it.

Of course on the one hand, I want the organ gone. But its shenanigans have been integral to my very identity for such a long time. A lifetime, really. So it will be interesting to learn what all comes up (and out?) along with it.


3 comments:

Rachel said...

Have as many good cries as you want. Feel free to be totally ok with what's coming one day, and terribly sad about it the next. I've been there. I had a hysterectomy in June 2013 at the age of 29. I Came across your blog from a listing on another, so I don't know every detail of your story or what has led you here. Of course our experiences won't be exactly the same. I can tell you though, that I felt better immediately. Of course there was pain from the surgery, but I immediately could tell that a source of so much constant chronic pain was just gone. I felt lighter. I felt freer. The pain had been so pervasive for so long that I didn't even realize how much it was affecting my daily life. I can do so much more now. There have been moments of sadness, and there still are. They have become rarer and fewer as I find my joys in other things. I don't need to be pregnant to be a parent. I don't need a uterus to be a wife and partner to my husband. I don't need to be in pain every day just to prove that I am strong.
There's life on the other side of hysterectomy, and it's a good life. I wish you nothing but the best this month, in your procedure, and in your healing afterward. Good luck.

Lisa said...

Thank you for sharing your experience with me, Rachel. Your comment "I don't need to be in pain every day just to prove that I am strong" hits home. I really am looking forward to life after the surgery!

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