Friday, July 16, 2010

I do not have time to blog right now

So I think I will.

I'm contending with a ridiculous set of project deadlines over the next few weeks, and at 4:45 pm today I realized that — not only will I need to work ALL weekend (came to terms with that a couple days ago) — I must work tonight.

I'd already canceled my golfing plans, thinking I'd use this evening to rest up for the long (but, again, way too short) haul. But the joke's on me: I made precious little progress today. Hahahahahahahaha! At least, though, I came by my poor showing honestly. No goofing off, just couldn't produce.

Naturally, once I succumbed to feeling all the pressure, I thought, "Hey, I should blog at Infertile Ground! After all, I'm feeling inadequate. Like I won't be able to finish what I started. Just like old IF times!" (I should mention that I do know I'll meet my project deadlines. Pulling out all the stops works for that.)

Don't mind me. This compulsion to blog here is just a delayed reaction to seeing an ad for my old clinic a few weeks ago. The baby in it looked just like me.

I noticed the ad, thought my flash-crazy thoughts, and slammed shut the magazine. Then I instantly suppressed forgot it.

Well, wouldn't you know? A fresh issue of that periodical showed up in the mail this week. Last night while sitting down with it for a minute, I wondered why I didn't remember any of the articles talked about in the "Letters to the Editor" section. I recognized the cover image. Hmmm.

And then it hit me. Didn't even need to see the ad again. I knew that I'd cast aside the last issue for one simple reason:

That baby should have been mine.

Funny how these chance circumstances throw a sucker punch just when you think you've made it to the other side.

To be fair, I must stress that I have made it. I am okay. It's just that some bruises take a hella long time to properly heal.


Polly Gamwich said...

Big hugs Lisa.

Thanks for checking in. I'm so sorry for the bruises.

I hope you can endure the work weekend.

I'm glad to hear that for the most part things are going ok.

More hugs and a smile,

Lisa said...

Hey Polly! Hugs and smiles right back at you, sweetie.

Things really are pretty good. So much so that now I get surprised when something triggers that crappy feeling.

Ms Heathen said...

Sorry to hear that those old bruises are still causing you pain, Lisa, but glad to read that you are beginning to heal.

Mrs. X said...

It's those old wounds that you thought had begun to heal over that suddenly spring open that are the worst. And, to have them triggered by your own old clinic. That just hurts.

I hope you ended up getting to golf. Whacking small balls around sounds like it would help immensely.

AnneG said...

My heart and prayers go out to you. Here's some luxury reading from one artist to another. Artists