Thursday, April 23, 2009

"We interrupt this silence to bring you a new post!"

It's been a while!

I took a break on purpose. Partially to give myself a break, and partially to mull over whether to keep writing in this space. I didn't do anything special to help myself come to a decision. Just decided to decide sometime.

Before I started this blog, I thought I might like to do a completely different sort of semi-anonymous personal blog. Something fun. Books, music, cooking, movies, dogs, and/or wine&beer&cocktails all seemed like topics I could enjoy blathering on about. Not infertility. And certainly not the version of it I'd lived up to that point, where IF meant you do not . . . you cannot . . . you will not conceive a take-home baby. I had nothing to say about that except that it sucked and I hated it. I just didn't know where I could go with that theme. Plus, I felt then that DH and I were just about done with TTC and it didn't make sense to blog in retrospect.

But then we committed to surgery and pursuing IVF with a new RE. Something shifted. I had hope again and something to look toward. A brand-new set of experiences to see through to whatever end was in store. A story. And onto Blogger I jumped.

Funny thing is, despite the TTC thing having fallen off my to-do list — and maybe, in a strange way, precisely because I have no intention of spending the rest of my days living in infertility (and, for you close readers out there, the "in" was a conscious language choice in lieu of, say, "with" or "after") — I know that this story is still unfolding. The rest of my life will not be an epilogue. And I need a way to facilitate putting the IF ride in its proper perspective within the much larger framework of that life.

So. More blogging for me. Unless or until I decide to decide otherwise.


Mrs.X said...

I always love to read what you write, so you could write about bath soap and I'd enjoy it.

But, I understand the need to put things in their proper place (a place for everything and everything in its place). And, when you're ready, just throw it in the void and watch it bounce like a drunk guy crowd surfing. Pretty soon, it will get sucked into the vortex and you can move on to the next show.

Deathstar said...

ICLW. My previous history was very similar to yours - well, except the getting pregnant part - but I just wanted delurk and say hi.

Opus #6 said...

It is wonderful to see you. I wish you all the best in your life. Anything you wish to share sounds good to me.

Beautiful Mess said...

I'm happy to read your words. I want to know how you're doing and such. You type and I read. Welcome back and I hope you're doing well!

Tara said...

I am so glad you've decided to stay :) I love reading what you write and I always appreciate your perspective.

Alacrity said...

I agree totally that life cannot just be an epilogue to failure.

It is both scary and exciting to consider how much freedom lies ahead. As the days go by, I try to notice that fear is being replaced by anticipation. Hopefully that will lead to action.