My IVF cycle won't officially start for another 8 weeks, give or take, and I'm sitting here at my desk right now with a big knot in my stomach.
I start a new acupuncture treatment plan in about an hour, so I guess I'm feeling like all the madness starts NOW. Or in the next in 1 HOUR AND 11 MINUTES, anyway. Plus, the appointment is at the clinic, so I've got the walking-through-the-door thing to make myself do.
DH is funny. He emailed a little bit ago to ask if I was "all buttery" for the acupuncture (when the practitioner checks one of the inserted needles, she wants it to feel like it's moving in butter). I replied that I felt anxious. About a minute later he called to invite me out for dinner. But I had no idea what he was talking about:
DH: Do you want to go home right after or stay out?
Me: Stay out where?
DH: I could stay at work and get a few more things done.
Me: I have no place to go. But you can work late if you want.
DH: I just thought you might like to eat on the way home.
Me: By myself? Why? Do you need to work really late?
DH: No! I thought I could meet you somewhere since we'll both be on the same side of the bridge. We could eat an early dinner out and wait out rush-hour traffic. Both of us. At the same place.
Me: Oh, wow, I didn't catch your drift there at all. Sure!
Hope we both understand where we're meeting.
Acupuncture and a date. Sounds like fun. Your DH sounds sweet.
I know what you mean about having to psych yourself up to walk through the doors of the clinic: I always have such mixed feelings about stepping back on the treatment treadmill.
I hope that your acupuncture session was relaxing, and that you enjoyed your dinner date afterwards.
I've been checking in regularly but haven't had a chance to type any responses. I am sorry that you're feeling so anxious, but it sure is understandable after what you've been through. I hope you have the chance to catch your breath and relax in the next 8 weeks. It sounds from your previous posts that you're getting to where you need to be mentally to go through another try. I will be rooting for you from the sidelines. It's been so good to hear you "come back" over the past couple of weeks. I'm so glad you aren't giving up.
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